I Am Fifteen—and I Don't Want to Die by Christine Arnothy

Some questions I pondered from out of this time: I didn’t feel the need to understand everything, but observing it helped me to somehow put into perspective the painful situation we were experiencing.

As much as you would imagine my fixation on reading about the Holocaust could have caused me to become depressed and heavy, yet it gave me something I am truly grateful to have received. I came away from this time with many questions. She seemed to be able to portray this time from a bird’s eye view both compassionately and objectively, from the vantage points of the persecuted and the persecutors, exposing Ravensbruck for it to be seen, and never forgotten.

A thick book with incredible overarching detail, I was taken aback by the stance of the writer. One of the books which deeply impacted me was Sarah Helm’s “If This Is a Woman: Inside Ravensbruck – Hitler’s Concentration Camp for Women”. It increased in me a desire to grow in empathy, understanding and forgiveness. But when I spent many hours exposing to myself the historic wounds of the Holocaust, it made me see that we must be brave to look at ourselves with honest eyes too. How easy it is to observe what is wrong in others. A stirring grew in my soul to journey with the Jews, the outcasts, misfits, prisoners, gypsies, prostitutes, children, men and women and the “incurably sick”, all of whom were subjected to unmentionable horrors. I read and read and would like to share some of my experiences, thoughts and questions from out of this time with you. People, individuals with names, unique people, haunted by a ghost of numbers tattooed on the skin. Somehow by witnessing for myself through the books I read, interviews and films I watched, I felt I could somehow be present in spirit those many years ago in some way, and receive wisdom from the voices of the martyrs and survivors. There was urgency within me to discover all I could about both the atrocity and bravery of such a time. Wisdom from the Wounds of History – the HolocaustĪ couple of years ago, we as a family were going through a very difficult time and I became drawn to reading about the Holocaust.

I Am Fifteen—and I Don't Want to Die by Christine Arnothy